Handling Power, Money and Sex in Marriage.
Hey everyone and welcome to another RELATIONSHIP Blog post from our Love Dating and Marriage, preached by Pastor M This week promises to be super exciting as we discus so jump right in…
The three things that cause a lot of friction in marriage usually are power, money and sex. Today we will be looking at POWER.
This message was preached by Pastor Mildred Kingsley Okonkwo, to both singles and married. Enoy this, share with a friend and above all, apply…
1 Corinthians 11:3
” But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man,[a] and the head of Christ is God.”
For a home to run effectively, there has be the leader and the follower. According to the word, the man is the head of the home and that position comes with power. Power is not brute force, power is delegated authority.
It is so important you understand this so as to avoid problems in your marriage. The man is not the head because he is bigger, stronger and wiser. He is the head because God ordained it so.
Romans 13: 1
“Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God”
What this scripture is saying is that every authority especially in the home is ordained by God and if you want to go into marriage you must go in with that mind set of order and authority.
God is a God of order. There is a divine order He has constituted for the home and that is, the man be the head and the woman assist and support him.
Another thing you must have heard but you need to hear again and frequently is: MARRIAGE IS A COVENANT. Marriage is not a contract. Marriage is two people coming together and one new person resurrecting. What this means is that both you and your spouse must lay down your individual desires, wishes, mode of thinking, way of seeing things and embrace one mind. You both are one body. Now if you both are one body, you must have one head; there can only be one head for one body.
“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
What this scripture is saying is that, the man is to submit to his wife’s NEED while the wife is to submit to her husband’s LEAD. So that means there is submission taking place on both ends.
“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”
What this means is that you are to submit to your husband in EVERYTHING. Your finances, your body, your ideas. A lot of people enter marriage without understanding this so they end up surprised when they realize that they have to submit. This then leads to tension and fight in the home.
“However, each man among you [without exception] is to love his wife as his very own self [with behavior worthy of respect and esteem, always seeking the best for her with an attitude of lovingkindness], and the wife [must see to it] that she respects and delights in her husband [that she notices him and prefers him and treats him with loving concern, treasuring him, honoring him, and holding him dear].”
That you are submitting does not mean that you are less than the man, it means that you are equal to him but you have agreed to willingly lay down your power. It is you putting his mission before yours. Serve your husband, honor him. He is the God you can see, so accord him the same respect. Think about him, notice him, make him feel loved, make him feel like a king.
” Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.”
What this means is that as the man you must be able to lead in love. When God talks about love here, He doesn’t mean just the romantic ‘flowers and chocolates’ love but an UNCONDITIONAL love. As a man, you must be a loving leader. You must be able to love your wife in every circumstance irrespective of what she does or doesn’t do.
You must be willing to die to your own need and put her first. When you understand this as a man, questions like – ‘My wife and my mother needs money, who should I give?’ doesn’t come to play because you understand that your wife comes first. And so the question should not even be ‘’My wife and my mother needs money, who should I give?’’, the question becomes ‘’My mother needs money from my wife and I’’ because first, you and your wife are one, so if any occasions arises that requires you both to attend to needs outside of your immediate family, the decision for the provision should be a consensus. The person needs money from you both because the money in the first place belongs to you BOTH and not either of you.
Submission is easy as a woman when you know and can see that your husband loves you and he will go the extra mile and more to prove it to you. As a man, your job in marriage is to make sure that your wife is never in doubt about how much you love her and your willingness to always esteem her needs higher than yours. You also need to protect her. Protect her from her friends, your family, her family and in some cases, you need to protect her from herself. Protection is not limited to just physicality but also extends to other areas. Protect her from her mind set, her fears, her worries, her doubts. Let her know she can count on you to be there for her.
Don’t let her feel threatened by your leadership. That you are the head of the home doesn’t mean you should become a terrorist or a tormentor. You can be the head and be loving. You do not have to drop one for the other.
Another thing you must take very seriously as a man and leader is tough love. You must be able to correct your wife when she does something wrong. Don’t let her blackmail you with tears, crying to a woman is as eating is to a man. It doesn’t mean anything. When your wife is wrong, love demands that you correct her.
“When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.”
When you see your wife towing the line of destruction, call her to order with love but very firmly all the same.
1 Timothy 2:14
“And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner.”
Adam was with Eve the whole time she was talking to the serpent. He WAS NOT deceived but watched his wife get lied to and stayed quiet and even went along and ate the fruit with her. If Adam had taken the role as the head of the home, he would have prevented Eve from doing what she did.
Love corrects, love scolds, love teaches.
Love is not irresponsible. Love CORRECTS and so as a man correct your wife. If you don’t know how, pray to God to teach you how or LEARN if you must but as a man you need to correct your wife when she is wrong. It is a way of showing her love.
Train you wife, teach her, groom her, grow her.
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This year you too will get your FULL REWARD!!! Amen.