What Every Spouse Should Know.

Ever wanted a manual of sorts on marriage and what you would LOVE your spouse to know?

This week on the blog is your ANSWER as we share this amazing message preached by Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo. We have no doubt you, your spouse (we hope they are reading this with you) and your marriage are about to get into the NEXT LEVEL as you read and APPLY the godly wisdom below.


Genesis 2:18

“The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name.  So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.  The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman, for she was taken out of man.”  For this reason: a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.  The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.”

Marriage will always appear mysterious when you are disconnected from the originator. It becomes something you leave up to chance and luck if you do not know what the originator of marriage has said about it.

I have heard people say:

“There is no handbook for marriage”

“Some people have done the word of God and their marriage still failed”

“To have a happy marriage, it is the grace of God”.

Everything is wrong about these statements.

1.      There is a handbook for marriage, it is called the word of God.  There are only two institutions that God started Himself and those are the only two institutions that are greatest in life. They are: Marriage and The Church and they are both linked. In Ephesians, the bible calls the Church the bride of Christ, the body of Christ. Marriage has a manual and that is the Bible. God is not confused, He cannot create marriage and not give you a manual to run it with. Even things such as wrist watches, television and radios have manuals; how much more Marriage. There are principles that govern marriage in the word that if you follow will make your marriage work.

2.      A lot of times when people say “It is the grace of God” what they are saying is, it is luck, we cannot control the outcome. The grace of God is not an excuse for failure. The grace of God is a divine empowerment to succeed.

Some other things you should know as a spouse:

3.      The word of God is failure proof. You cannot practice the word and fail. If it fails, it is not the word. The word does not fail.

4.      The exact qualities it takes to be a good Christian are the exact qualities you need to succeed in marriage. If you are a good Christian who loves the lord and does the word, you should have a good marriage. A lot of the marriages that failed is because either one or both partners were not good Christians.

5.      Marriage does not change things, instead it reveals things. If you were a bad Christian before marriage, you will be in marriage. If you keep malice, fight, cheat, steal, hoard before marriage, you will do all these and more when you get into marriage.

6.      Many people are not practicing the word and that is why the marriage is not working. If you are doing the word it will work.

Mathhew 5:18

“For verily I say unto you: till heaven and earth passes away, not one jot or tittle shall in any wise pass from the law till all be fulfilled.”

7.      1 Cor 7:32

“I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs, how he can please the Lord.”

Marriage is not about taking, it is about giving.

John 3:16

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.”

Christ was the son of God and He left everything to serve the world. You cannot be a Christian and not be able to serve or give. Our whole Christian life is about serving another.

John 16:35 A Christian that is so full of self-pursuit and cannot serve another person will find it difficult to serve in marriage because marriage is two people serving themselves for the rest of their life.

You cannot make it in marriage without serving. Serving humbles you, it helps your patience. It helps you become more like Christ.

8.      Ecclesiastes 4:9

“Two are better than one, they shall have a good reward for their labor.”

Marriage gives you a balanced view and approach towards life. It helps you see life differently.

Genesis 2:18

“God said that it will be good for this man to be alone, I will create a help-meet suitable and adaptable.”

God knew that a man alone will not be good, so He created a woman to complement Him and not just physically but mentally, spiritually and in other areas. God looked at everything a man lacked and put it in a woman so that when they both come together in decision making, planning and other things, they both can get the best out of every situation. If we were good enough being one, He would not have created two.

9.      Ecclesiastes 4:10

“If either one falls down, one can help the other up.”

Your spouse should be your greatest supporter not tormentor. When you are married, you are supposed to support unconditionally. Your spouse should have your unconditional support and encouragement. Even when (s)he doesn’t listen to you, you are not permitted to not support your spouse. The devil already does the job of accusing, do not amplify it.

Rev 12:10

“Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say: Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of his Messiah. For the accuser of our brothers and sisters, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down.”

10.  Marry your friend. Marry someone you are comfortable with, someone you can be yourself with. Someone who likes you for you and will accept you the way you are. Do not marry someone you have to form with or pretend with. You cannot pretend forever.

Genesis 2:25

“They were naked and not ashamed.”

You cannot be one person inside and another person outside. Marry someone you can be yourself.

11.  Men and women are different. Women usually are planners, they see things holistically, men on the other hand, direct their thinking to just one thing at a time. They can handle just one thing at a time. As a woman understand your husband’s differences. That he is different from you does not mean he is bad, he is just different. You need to learn to understand these differences and work with him.

12.  Proverbs 21:9

 “It is better to dwell at the corner of a house top than with a nagging woman in a wide house.”

One major need a man has is peace of mind and that is because he thinks a lot. The man needs peace. As a woman, be very understanding. Understand when to criticize, when to advise and when to draw back a little. Understand your husband and learn how to be suitable and adaptable for him.

13. The man and the woman are equal before God but have different roles.

I pet 3:7

“The same goes for you husbands: Be good husbands to your wives. Honor them, delight in them. As women they lack some of your advantages. But in the new life of God’s grace, you’re equals. Treat your wives, then, as equals so your prayers don’t run aground.”

The wife is supposed to submit while the husband is to love. As a woman, your entrance should change the life of the man. Help him, advise him, pray for him. As a man, love your wife, irrespective of her flaws. Love her, adore her, put her first.  You should be a ‘gardener’, groom her, cultivate her, nurture her, allow her bloom, give her room to be herself.




Phew, what a BEAUTIFUL message.

If this blessed you, we encourage you to please share on all your social media handles.

We would love for you to fellowship with us at DAVID’S CHRISTIAN CENTRE. Our service times are:

Mainland: Fatgbems Filling Station bus stop, Amuwo Odofin, Lagos.

Sundays: 7:30 am and 9:00 am

Wednesdays: 6:30 pm

Island: Elegushi Bus stop, 3rd round about, Lekki.

Sundays: 10:00 am

Tuesdays: 6:30pm

You can find us on social media too.

Instagram and Twitter: @dccisland, @dcclagos

You can call us too on 08077714411

We cannot wait to hear from you..

Till next time, please say this COVENANT we have out loud with us




  1. Thanks so much Pastor for this great word.

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